new design

As you, my thousands of followers and avid readers may have noticed (or not) that I changed the look of this blog. "Why would she do that?" you may ask. "She spent hours figuring out the other layout and it looked so groovy and sexy," you may say. Dear readers, I changed the layout for a good few reasons. 1. I got bored of the other one. 2. While it was pretty dang endearing, it reminded me of my sophomore year of high school and we all know that that right there is a bad omen. 3. Chevron is out. 4. I felt I wanted a classier, simpler vibe.

I was actually inspired by another girl's blog. I would tell you her name but she doesn't know me and I actually spent 15 minutes stalking her on instagram and eventually came to her blog and though I'm cute, I'm not that cute and she'd probably get pretty creeped out.

But this girl (let's call her Amber) Amber is my kindred spirit. And not in the "oh you're so cool I want to be your best friend" sort of way. But in the "why do you have to be older than me because now if I am similar to you then people will think I'm stealing your vibe which I'm not-I was born to be a similar person than you." Maybe I'm just paranoid, but I don't want to copy her. In fact I'm pretty jealous of her because she has a great singing voice and those cool hipster glasses that my face is too narrow to pull off. She even talks the way I do. (I write different than I talk. My writing is totes more sophisticated and presh where my speaking voice is for sure more girlie and obvi adorbs. Ya'll should be so jelly, it's cray).

Amber, though, is the person I desire to be. And I almost hate her for it. Which is awful and I'm shaming myself inside but I can't help being a bit resentful. This cool girl has all the same interests as me, but can rock side braids like no one's business.

Which brings me to my point that even though she's cool and I'm scrolling through her photos saying to myself "yeah I want to be her", I am happy with being myself. I think I'm cool too and I have great eyebrows. I've actually been on this soul-searching mission the past few months. The mission isn't really about finding my soul-I've known for awhile who I am and what I want out of life. This mission was more for me to finally be comfortable being 100% me. I needed to love myself and be alright being on my own and begin to start the wondrous journey into the big-kid world.

Yet, there are still a few things I desire to gain in my own life. So Amber has inspired me to make a short list of goals that I want to accomplish. Here they are:

-Learn to wear a beanie and rock it
-Take more pictures
-Don't be afraid to talk to cute boys
-Become familiar with classic black & white films
-Bake cookies

So there you are folks! I will be achieving these ambitions and if anyone has any advice on how to be efficiently triumphant, then please, I'm open to suggestions.

So, yeah, I did change the design of my blog.

awkward things of the week

-My best friend informed me we weren't best friends anymore. That's the third time that's happened to me.
-I wept when I ventured into the ATM ,"Target", and saw all of the Halloween merchandise.
-I panicked when my crush called me on the phone so I started sweeping the house and replied to him with song lyrics only. He didn't understand and eventually hung up.
-My palms started sweating when I had a flashback of an embarrassing moment from the sixth grade.
-I walked around in a circle in Cotton On for twenty minutes humming to myself because I didn't want to buy anything and I didn't know how to tell the scary sales person (who kept smiling weird and pointed at me and then the clothes and then back to me and then to the SALE sign...) that I just wanted to leave.
-It took me five minutes to open an "easy open" bag of Tortilla chips. I broke a sweat and my mom ended up opening it for me.
-I spit out my food on at least six different people while laughing.
-I scored "You are the weirdest person ever. You could walk anywhere and people would notice your great power of awkwardness" on a quiz I took.


On the plus side, 200 people re-pinned one of my pins. That's pretty groovy.

I found this book at Michael's. No one believed me that this terrifying novel existed.

My parents and I did soda shots. My mom voted alcohol but she compromised for carbonation instead.

starstruck

This week has been a magical week. I met two actors at a party (one in the tear-jerking, heart-wrenching Mormon-famous movie Charly and another hilarious man in High School Musical 2) and tonight, my dad nonchalantly waltzed in the house and told us he was attending a red carpet event. I almost puked in jealousy. 

I feel like Hollywood is screaming at me, and my friend who is a writer for Nickelodeon offered to have me be a background actor for some shows. Obviously I'll be instantly discovered and become an A-list celebrity over night. But because I feel like stardom is knocking at my door, I've decided to post a list of my favorite celebrities. I tried to narrow it down to 10, but I couldn't. So I've made some sub-category celebrity lists.

Favorite Actresses and Actors (based on actual acting)

• Meryl Streep 
• Jennifer Lawrence
• Cate Blanchett
• Katharine Hepburn
• Helena Bonham Carter
• Emma Watson
• Leonardo Dicaprio
• Gregory Peck
• Johnny Depp
• Cary Grant
• Bradley Cooper
• James Franco

Favorite Actresses and Actors (based on looks)

Amanda Seyfried                  Henry Cavill                   

Emmy Rossum                     Jensen Ackles

Leighton Meester                 Ian Somerholder

Marion Cotillard                  Chace Crawford

Nina Dobrev                        James Franco

Jessica Biel                          Dave Franco

Holland Roden                    Penn Badgley

Emma Watson                     Bradley Cooper

Natalie Portman                   Daniel Sharman

Rachel McAdams                Ryan Gosling

Favorite Actresses and Actors (based on personality)

• Audrey Hepburn
• Emma Stone
• Jennifer Lawrence
• Elizabeth Banks
• Maggie Smith
• Betty White
• Robert Downey Jr.
• Will Smith
• Josh Hutcherson
• Steve Carell
• Zach Galifianakis
• Daniel Radcliff 
• Tom Felton

Fashion Icons

Audrey Hepburn

Taylor Swift

Jackie Kennedy

Rachel Bilson

Emmy Rossum

Kate Middelton

Allison Williams

Blair Waldorf

Lauren Conrad

Grace Kelly 

These lists were hard to compile because there are just too many celebrities I love. Maybe I dote too much on the famous, but hey, I'm a shallow 18 year old girl. 

freaky friday

Today was such a wonderful day. Here is how it went:

I woke up at 9:30 and pinned until 10:30. I then got out of bed, made my way to the extremely bright kitchen, and ate a cookie and a Reese's. Then I decided I wanted to go back to bed. So I then went on lover.ly for two hours, lifted some weights, tweezed my eyebrows, and heated up some leftover potato wedges. I ate the wedgy glory in my bed (with homemade fry sauce) and pinned more on to my humor board. In the 30 minutes I was pinning, I lost two followers and gained four. It was almost like playing Oregon Trail. I then watched five hours of Supernatural. My hard-working father picked up Indian food for dinner so that was a nice break from my busy life.

Then I went on a date with my boyfriend Jake. We ate a candlelit dinner, read poetry, and stargazed. Here we are! 

Jake is such a great guy. He is the beginning to something I call "The Awkward Project: Lonely Girl Problems". He'll be making many more premiers in my life.

So overall, I would say today was a productive day, and an extremely freaky Friday. Especially because I almost died. But that is another post for another time.

grocery shopping

What is it about grocery shopping that makes me want to throw up? Not literally, but like the dry heaving I pretend to do behind my mom's back when she asks me to accompany her to our local Ralph's. I hate grocery shopping.

• I hate standing in the cold freezer section, watching my leg hair grow back, while my mom picks out the best frozen meal. Which she can't even eat.

• I hate walking by all of the bloody dead mounds of meat lying in a dirty glass case. I especially hate when there is fish and you can smell them the second you enter the carnivore prison. I hate their beady little eyes that watch you choose between eating Mary's little lamb or Wilbur.

• I hate the aisles of processed, packaged food that look so delicious. And they are delicious. And that's why I hate them.

• I hate the crowds of people that don't know how to maneuver their cart. And I hate smiling and pretending to be polite when some crazy lady runs over my foot or knocks into my cart. And I hate workers that ask if they can help you find something every five seconds. One time I swear there was this pair of coworkers that made it their life goal to follow me around the store and see if I need their assistance. I had to hide behind a display of two-ply, extra soft toilet paper with bears smiling on the package to lose them.

• I hate checking the groceries out. I hate when the beeper thing doesn't beep and the worker makes me go run a marathon, cross two oceans, and climb Mt. Everest just to find the same product, hoping the machine detects it, instead of just punching in the serial code.

• I hate when the checker out people aren't polite. But I also hate it when they try to learn everything from where I went to elementary school to how I like my meat cooked.

• I hate that there are forty-six different brands of milk.

• I hate that there is stupid "soft beats" playing from the ugly ceilings. And that the floor is so reflective and bright that it can tan an albino.

• I hate carrying groceries inside from the car. There are about seven million stupid and flimsy plastic bags every time we go, and they each leave scarring on my palms worse than The Joker's face.

Overall, I hate grocery shopping. It stresses me out and whenever I'm done, I just want to take a nap. At least that's a plus side.

love

What is love? What does love mean to me? Love is definitely the most confusing, simple, retold story of human existence. Every person on this earth seeks love. Every person on this earth needs love. There are hundreds of different types of love! My favorite is the kind that makes you happy. I was thinking last night about what it means to love. I think love is pure. With true love, for whomever it is for, it is unadulterated, uncomplicated, and simply just peaceful. I once told a friend, "I don't understand it when people say love is complicated. Love is easy. Relationships are what is complicated. Loving someone is the easiest thing in the world." And I stand true to that!

We like to make things complicated. And why being in love can become complicated because two people with two hearts and two minds are involved, really loving someone is easy and natural. My favorite word to describe love is shine. Shine is my favorite word in general, but I think shine is perfect when it describes love. When you see "the one" or anyone you care deeply about, they shine. Your heart shines. Your soul shines. Nothing else matters. You can literally feel the love and you can see it in the shine in your eyes and in the shine that surrounds the other person. It doesn't have to be just a romantic interest. My family shines. My best friend shines. Everyone I love shines.

When you love someone, your heart smiles. And that is enough. That is what love is. Love consists of thousands of other things, but when you go down to the core of it, love is simple. It is a pure and smiling shine.

why should you run?

Today I went for a run. I felt like a starving dinosaur who spotted a flock of cavemen covered in Oreos. I'm sure that's exactly what I looked like. I was running, embracing the sweat pouring down my forehead, trying to suck in my abs and throw my shoulders back. Despite the fact I had Carrie Underwood cheering me on, I asked myself why I was doing what I was doing the entire time. Why get a red face, sweaty pits, and aching legs? Why feel like I am going to throw my lungs up? I thought of six good reasons why I should keep going.

1. You not only feel better physically, but your mind starts to feel better too! I feel more creative, perky, and organized! In fact, I stopped seeing all of those people everywhere and hearing things since I started running.

2. You have the urge to eat healthier. It's sort of a given thing, wanting to eat cleaner foods. Thinking about running with pieces of frozen pizza and Reese's floating around in your stomach is a lot grosser than peaches and hummus.

3. Your nails, hair, skin, and body look healthier.

4. Running makes you less sad, and more happy. And less chance of murdering anyone. Running releases endorphins, endorphins make you happy, and happy people just don't shoot their husbands.

5. Your heart and lungs get strengthened. Which makes it harder to get your heart broken but easier to scream and burn things when it does.

6. You feel like a super-star. And that's reasons enough.

23 people who are more awkward than I am

http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/people-who-are-way-more-awkward-than-you?s=mobile

thank you to my friend Nicolle for sharing this. I literally died and came back from the dead, still laughing.

full breed

Today I fell into a crafty mood, making me feel like I accomplished something. I took care of a baby for one half of the day and did crafts the second half. I felt like a full-breed Mormon mom. Especially since my crafts were missionary care-packages.

Here are pictures to show off my skills!

My "Box of Sunshine"

includes: yellow water bottle, yellow notebook, orange tic-tacs, orange chapstick, orange loofa, yellow bag of M&Ms, dried apricots, Goldfish, Cheez-its, a yellow sponge, and yellow tampons.

My "10 Things You Gain From a Mission" box

includes: letters with q quote inside-each symbolizing a different "gift", and then a small treat to go with each gift. Ex: Being a "fisher-of-men" and Goldfish crackers. Here is the link to the idea! I tweaked some of the original choices though. 

http://missionariestwobytwo.blogspot.com

I felt super cool after doing all of this! Especially because now I'm going to go make homemade strawberry mousse for some friends! Whoop whoop for Crafty Anna!

P.S. I also bought these at Target today. Can you say SCORE???? 

Does life get any better???

autumn

Why is autumn truly the best season? Well, besides the hot football players, mostly because of the food. And the smells. And the clothes. Here is my list of top ten reasons why fall is the best quarter of the year!

1. So much food. There is candy for Halloween, Thanksgiving feasts, pumpkin flavored everything.
2. Break out scarves, boots, pea coats, and sweaters! No other season has clothes quite as cozy, comfortable, or cute as fall.
3. You walk into Michael's and BOOM. It's like Halloween Town. It literally brings tears of joy to my eyes.
4. It smells like happiness everywhere you go. You can walk into a doctor's office and it feels like you're walking off of the Mayflower. True patriotism.
5. Football: bringing more Americans together than the 4th of July. Almost as much as The Bachelor.
6. Feeling sad? Just walk by a local elementary school and literally feel the festive spirit of fall pouring out of the pumpkin clad hallways. (Don't linger though.)
7. Everybody is in a festive mood! Even if you hate holidays (which is the same as hating happiness) then it's the perfect time of year for you. You can act like a witch and everyone assumes it's just in character.
8. Target has the best back-to-school sales.
9. The leaves change from a dull green to beautiful browns! And some reds and oranges and yellows. And you even get to jump in piles of leaves. How beautiful.
10. The only time of the year (minus Christmas because Christmas doesn't even count as a season, more like a state of pure joy) that you can walk around carrying Starbucks and pies and wearing orange and black and a witches hat and get away with it.

welcome

Welcome ladies and gents, freaks and geeks! imwithawkward is my stupendously fun blog about life and the awkwardness of it. I have often been described using the word awkward and find many situations awkward, so I often am with awkward!

I've been called awkward on dates, at dances, at parties, and with my friends. My nickname is Awko Taco and I even have a shirt with that name on it. There was one time where I was in Barcelona and I was walking with this cute jerk. I was trying to be all flirty and cute, and the only thing he could come up with to say was "You're really awkward, you know." I get told that at least twenty times a week. I think I like to make situations awkward on purpose.

Short summary of who I am: my name is Anna. I am eighteen, living in LA in my parent's guest bedroom, and waiting for my life to begin. I enjoy watching Netflix while eating Oreos and singing to myself in my bedroom. I am excited to be publicly awkward and to have ya'll join in on my awkwardness!