Summertime Gladness

I did it! I successfully finished my first semester of college, my first trial of being on my own (I only almost burned the kitchen down once and only called my mom four times a day). My friends called me "Lonely Girl"... if I had any friends...
But I did finish with a 3.85 so I am pretty proud of myself (:

Here are some pics!

This is Sierra! She is getting surgery today, so please send prayers her way. She is magnificent and fabulous. End of story.

These are Liz (Lizard) and Morgan (MoMo). They're 'aight. They make me laugh a lot and we like to psychoanalyze ourselves and take trips to the ER.





This picture kind of explains us.





This is my beautiful roommate Ashley. She was the best. She is more dramatic than I am (;

And here lies Adrienne, my second roommate. We haven't seen her since Friday. But she is getting married on Saturday! Yay for Little Joe's and Adrienne Jr's! 

But anywho. I am finished with that crap people call education and onto real life experience, like eating leftover Easter candy, driving the streets of Tooele County, and gardening. 

Speaking of driving. I had a car named Polly Fiona Clementine Roberts. And she was beautiful. My friends and I found a condom, a lighter, some glow sticks, and some crushed up "Excedrin" in her bowels. She smelled like weed and the hopes and dreams of new life. But as the saying goes, all good things come to an end. And she is at the hospital right now :(

I am actually very excited for this summer! I have a rockin' internship with the sweetest wedding planner ever, my best friend is coming home from her mission, my cat loves me, and I get to eat real food again. 

Also, I actually have not neglected this blog for the past month - I have four posts written up as drafts, I just haven't posted them...

So it's April...

So it may or may not have been over a month since I last posted. And I may or may not feel incredibly guilty because I made an unbreakable vow to myself that I would not wait this long to post again...but I broke that vow...and now it's just awkward because I don't know how to punish myself??

Update: BOYS ARE DUMB. Ridiculously ridiculous. They are superficial animals who lead you on, rip your heart out, and laugh while drinking tea with satan. That's why I need a MAN. Or no one because I am a strong independent woman who loves to imagine a future filled with empty nights and a toilet seat left down. Just kidding. I'm not really THAT bitter....

I am getting ready for my last month of school!! Wow. That happened too quickly. But now I get to go enjoy a summer of work, laughter, planting a garden, getting tan, and petting my cat.

So I feel like I have suffered extreme amounts of faux-pas since being in Logan, the more than usual. I am almost 100% positive my bishopric hates me because of a few inappropriate and highly embarrassing incidents that occurred during Sacrament Meeting. I have scared off about 110% of the dating pool (I can completely admit that all of my relationship problems stem from two things: I always go for the same type of guy who always ends up being the exact same person and I lose in the end, and I seem to make any and every instance awkward. I just get flustered and overwhelmed and then I overwhelm others and it's just weird). But plus side: I have met some AMAZING people and have made GREAT friends. Sierra is probably just the best thing that ever happened to me. She is a highly less promiscuous and classier version of Carrie Bradshaw, or a much more pleasant and younger Miranda Priestly.

And I don't really have any good pictures to post with this so use your imagination. I need to take more pictures...
I will post more. I promise.

And I will post meaningful things from now on that actually have a point, not just my rambling about my super cool life.

Thanks noobs.

guess who's back, back again...

Hello beautiful people! So it's been since November 1st since I've published anything...yeah I know....awkward... but I am here! And it is February and beautiful!

I am in Logan now, going to school! COLLEGE. Holy heck! When did that happen? I have been here for one month today. And I am LOVING it. I love the campus, my classes, the people, and the atmosphere. I have successfully convinced 64% of the people I talk to that I am NOT awkward and that my social life is thriving (I've eaten three chocolate cakes since I've been here).

My goal for this blog is to encompass my life on here. I love being silly, but I love other things too! Like Netflix! But in all seriousness, I will be posting my fashion (on the days I actually try), maybe some sad and serious thoughts, and definitely more awkward moments. Now that I am around humans my age, there are plenty of opportunities to be totes awks.

Giggle of the day!! I have survived -7 degrees. I can survive anything!!!!

pumpkin patch

Like every other American this month, I ventured into the charming and wonderful world of outstanding orange output. Also known as pumpkins. (You would be astonished at how little adjectives and synonyms for "crop" begin with O). It was fun, pumpkins always get me going. We didn't get to see too much of the actual farm (kudos to the kiddies) but we got to collect pumpkins which is the sole reason to go to a pumpkin patch anyway, right?

While I was there I realized a few things:

• Kids are gross. They like to stick things where they don't belong, eat things that should NOT be eaten, and throw up all over your hands when you drive around too many bends.
• I cannot wait to have children. Despite their tantrums, dirty faces, runny noses, and uncanny ability to make you want to stock up on contraceptives, they're beautiful. They're funny, honest, and know how to have a real good time. 
• Do not drive on the 10 at four in the afternoon. Worst decision ever.
• Pumpkins are about 10x heavier than they look and look 10x better at a farm than at Walmart.

Oh October. How magical you are.

Viewer disclosure: I did post a very similar post to the other blog, that one was a bit happier, so read it too!

9 ways to get the guy

1. Watch him through his windows. By seeing his daily routine, you are able to find out more about his personal interests and therefore you have more openings for a conversation.

2. Sit behind him in class or stand behind him in line and smell his hair. Boys love it when girls smell their hair.

3. Write songs about how much you like him and then follow him around and sing them to him. Everyone loves to be serenaded.

4. Wink constantly. Even better, wink slowly with both eyes and sort of flip your hair in a seductive way. That'll get him.

5. Tell him that your children are going to have eyes just like his. He'll get the hint.

6. Create a Sims family featuring you and him as the parents. Take pictures and put them in a scrapbook. Put the scrapbook somewhere he'll find it. (some good places are in his locker, car, shower, or under his pillow)

7. Threaten his life if he doesn't date you. Show him you're serious by making a voodoo doll that highly resembles him. He'll be running into your arms in no time.

8. Whisper in his ear while he's dreaming. It'll send thoughts about you to his head and he'll wake up thinking about you.

9. Show him your Wedding Board on Pinterest. Done deal.

teddy has an operation

awkward things of the week

-My best friend informed me we weren't best friends anymore. That's the third time that's happened to me.
-I wept when I ventured into the ATM ,"Target", and saw all of the Halloween merchandise.
-I panicked when my crush called me on the phone so I started sweeping the house and replied to him with song lyrics only. He didn't understand and eventually hung up.
-My palms started sweating when I had a flashback of an embarrassing moment from the sixth grade.
-I walked around in a circle in Cotton On for twenty minutes humming to myself because I didn't want to buy anything and I didn't know how to tell the scary sales person (who kept smiling weird and pointed at me and then the clothes and then back to me and then to the SALE sign...) that I just wanted to leave.
-It took me five minutes to open an "easy open" bag of Tortilla chips. I broke a sweat and my mom ended up opening it for me.
-I spit out my food on at least six different people while laughing.
-I scored "You are the weirdest person ever. You could walk anywhere and people would notice your great power of awkwardness" on a quiz I took.


On the plus side, 200 people re-pinned one of my pins. That's pretty groovy.

I found this book at Michael's. No one believed me that this terrifying novel existed.

My parents and I did soda shots. My mom voted alcohol but she compromised for carbonation instead.

starstruck

This week has been a magical week. I met two actors at a party (one in the tear-jerking, heart-wrenching Mormon-famous movie Charly and another hilarious man in High School Musical 2) and tonight, my dad nonchalantly waltzed in the house and told us he was attending a red carpet event. I almost puked in jealousy. 

I feel like Hollywood is screaming at me, and my friend who is a writer for Nickelodeon offered to have me be a background actor for some shows. Obviously I'll be instantly discovered and become an A-list celebrity over night. But because I feel like stardom is knocking at my door, I've decided to post a list of my favorite celebrities. I tried to narrow it down to 10, but I couldn't. So I've made some sub-category celebrity lists.

Favorite Actresses and Actors (based on actual acting)

• Meryl Streep 
• Jennifer Lawrence
• Cate Blanchett
• Katharine Hepburn
• Helena Bonham Carter
• Emma Watson
• Leonardo Dicaprio
• Gregory Peck
• Johnny Depp
• Cary Grant
• Bradley Cooper
• James Franco

Favorite Actresses and Actors (based on looks)

Amanda Seyfried                  Henry Cavill                   

Emmy Rossum                     Jensen Ackles

Leighton Meester                 Ian Somerholder

Marion Cotillard                  Chace Crawford

Nina Dobrev                        James Franco

Jessica Biel                          Dave Franco

Holland Roden                    Penn Badgley

Emma Watson                     Bradley Cooper

Natalie Portman                   Daniel Sharman

Rachel McAdams                Ryan Gosling

Favorite Actresses and Actors (based on personality)

• Audrey Hepburn
• Emma Stone
• Jennifer Lawrence
• Elizabeth Banks
• Maggie Smith
• Betty White
• Robert Downey Jr.
• Will Smith
• Josh Hutcherson
• Steve Carell
• Zach Galifianakis
• Daniel Radcliff 
• Tom Felton

Fashion Icons

Audrey Hepburn

Taylor Swift

Jackie Kennedy

Rachel Bilson

Emmy Rossum

Kate Middelton

Allison Williams

Blair Waldorf

Lauren Conrad

Grace Kelly 

These lists were hard to compile because there are just too many celebrities I love. Maybe I dote too much on the famous, but hey, I'm a shallow 18 year old girl. 

freaky friday

Today was such a wonderful day. Here is how it went:

I woke up at 9:30 and pinned until 10:30. I then got out of bed, made my way to the extremely bright kitchen, and ate a cookie and a Reese's. Then I decided I wanted to go back to bed. So I then went on lover.ly for two hours, lifted some weights, tweezed my eyebrows, and heated up some leftover potato wedges. I ate the wedgy glory in my bed (with homemade fry sauce) and pinned more on to my humor board. In the 30 minutes I was pinning, I lost two followers and gained four. It was almost like playing Oregon Trail. I then watched five hours of Supernatural. My hard-working father picked up Indian food for dinner so that was a nice break from my busy life.

Then I went on a date with my boyfriend Jake. We ate a candlelit dinner, read poetry, and stargazed. Here we are! 

Jake is such a great guy. He is the beginning to something I call "The Awkward Project: Lonely Girl Problems". He'll be making many more premiers in my life.

So overall, I would say today was a productive day, and an extremely freaky Friday. Especially because I almost died. But that is another post for another time.

grocery shopping

What is it about grocery shopping that makes me want to throw up? Not literally, but like the dry heaving I pretend to do behind my mom's back when she asks me to accompany her to our local Ralph's. I hate grocery shopping.

• I hate standing in the cold freezer section, watching my leg hair grow back, while my mom picks out the best frozen meal. Which she can't even eat.

• I hate walking by all of the bloody dead mounds of meat lying in a dirty glass case. I especially hate when there is fish and you can smell them the second you enter the carnivore prison. I hate their beady little eyes that watch you choose between eating Mary's little lamb or Wilbur.

• I hate the aisles of processed, packaged food that look so delicious. And they are delicious. And that's why I hate them.

• I hate the crowds of people that don't know how to maneuver their cart. And I hate smiling and pretending to be polite when some crazy lady runs over my foot or knocks into my cart. And I hate workers that ask if they can help you find something every five seconds. One time I swear there was this pair of coworkers that made it their life goal to follow me around the store and see if I need their assistance. I had to hide behind a display of two-ply, extra soft toilet paper with bears smiling on the package to lose them.

• I hate checking the groceries out. I hate when the beeper thing doesn't beep and the worker makes me go run a marathon, cross two oceans, and climb Mt. Everest just to find the same product, hoping the machine detects it, instead of just punching in the serial code.

• I hate when the checker out people aren't polite. But I also hate it when they try to learn everything from where I went to elementary school to how I like my meat cooked.

• I hate that there are forty-six different brands of milk.

• I hate that there is stupid "soft beats" playing from the ugly ceilings. And that the floor is so reflective and bright that it can tan an albino.

• I hate carrying groceries inside from the car. There are about seven million stupid and flimsy plastic bags every time we go, and they each leave scarring on my palms worse than The Joker's face.

Overall, I hate grocery shopping. It stresses me out and whenever I'm done, I just want to take a nap. At least that's a plus side.

why should you run?

Today I went for a run. I felt like a starving dinosaur who spotted a flock of cavemen covered in Oreos. I'm sure that's exactly what I looked like. I was running, embracing the sweat pouring down my forehead, trying to suck in my abs and throw my shoulders back. Despite the fact I had Carrie Underwood cheering me on, I asked myself why I was doing what I was doing the entire time. Why get a red face, sweaty pits, and aching legs? Why feel like I am going to throw my lungs up? I thought of six good reasons why I should keep going.

1. You not only feel better physically, but your mind starts to feel better too! I feel more creative, perky, and organized! In fact, I stopped seeing all of those people everywhere and hearing things since I started running.

2. You have the urge to eat healthier. It's sort of a given thing, wanting to eat cleaner foods. Thinking about running with pieces of frozen pizza and Reese's floating around in your stomach is a lot grosser than peaches and hummus.

3. Your nails, hair, skin, and body look healthier.

4. Running makes you less sad, and more happy. And less chance of murdering anyone. Running releases endorphins, endorphins make you happy, and happy people just don't shoot their husbands.

5. Your heart and lungs get strengthened. Which makes it harder to get your heart broken but easier to scream and burn things when it does.

6. You feel like a super-star. And that's reasons enough.

23 people who are more awkward than I am

http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/people-who-are-way-more-awkward-than-you?s=mobile

thank you to my friend Nicolle for sharing this. I literally died and came back from the dead, still laughing.

autumn

Why is autumn truly the best season? Well, besides the hot football players, mostly because of the food. And the smells. And the clothes. Here is my list of top ten reasons why fall is the best quarter of the year!

1. So much food. There is candy for Halloween, Thanksgiving feasts, pumpkin flavored everything.
2. Break out scarves, boots, pea coats, and sweaters! No other season has clothes quite as cozy, comfortable, or cute as fall.
3. You walk into Michael's and BOOM. It's like Halloween Town. It literally brings tears of joy to my eyes.
4. It smells like happiness everywhere you go. You can walk into a doctor's office and it feels like you're walking off of the Mayflower. True patriotism.
5. Football: bringing more Americans together than the 4th of July. Almost as much as The Bachelor.
6. Feeling sad? Just walk by a local elementary school and literally feel the festive spirit of fall pouring out of the pumpkin clad hallways. (Don't linger though.)
7. Everybody is in a festive mood! Even if you hate holidays (which is the same as hating happiness) then it's the perfect time of year for you. You can act like a witch and everyone assumes it's just in character.
8. Target has the best back-to-school sales.
9. The leaves change from a dull green to beautiful browns! And some reds and oranges and yellows. And you even get to jump in piles of leaves. How beautiful.
10. The only time of the year (minus Christmas because Christmas doesn't even count as a season, more like a state of pure joy) that you can walk around carrying Starbucks and pies and wearing orange and black and a witches hat and get away with it.